How to Write a Thank-You Note for Any Gift (With Examples)

Key Takeaway: A great gift thank-you note has five parts: a greeting, a specific mention of the gift, why it matters or how you'll use it, a forward-looking line, and a warm sign-off. Send it within a week for most gifts — and within three months, at the absolute latest, for wedding gifts. Handwritten always beats digital for an actual gift.

If you've been putting off a thank-you note because you "don't know what to say," here's the research-backed permission slip: you're overthinking it. In a 2018 Psychological Science study, University of Chicago's Nicholas Epley and UT Austin's Amit Kumar found that people who wrote gratitude letters consistently underestimated how happy the notes would make recipients — and overestimated how awkward they'd feel to receive. The giver isn't grading your prose; they just want to know the gift landed. Below: the formula, the real deadlines by occasion, and copy-ready wording for the hard cases.

The Five-Part Thank-You Note Formula

Emily Post's classic structure has held up for a century because it's only four or five sentences. Here's each part with the line it produces:

1. Greet them at the right temperature. "Dear Aunt Linda" for formal relationships, "Hi Sam!" for friends. Match how you'd actually talk to them.
2. Name the gift specifically. "Thank you for the ceramic pour-over set" — never "thank you for the gift." Specificity is the whole signal that you noticed.
3. Say why it matters or how you'll use it. One sentence placing the gift in your real life: "I christened it Sunday morning and it's already replaced my sad office coffee."
4. Look forward. A line that points at the relationship, not the object: "Can't wait to make you a cup when you visit in March."
5. Close warmly and sign off. Restate the thanks briefly, then a closing that fits — "Sincerely," "With love," "Talk soon."

Put together, that's a complete note in under a minute of writing:

Dear Aunt Linda,

Thank you so much for the ceramic pour-over set — it's beautiful, and exactly my taste. I christened it Sunday morning and it's already replaced my sad office coffee. Can't wait to make you a proper cup when you visit in March. Thanks again for thinking of me.

With love, Maya

Four sentences. Nobody has ever read a note like that and thought it was too short.

When to Send It: Real Deadlines by Occasion

The golden rule is as soon as possible — and the silver rule, straight from Emily Post, is that a late note is always better than no note. Here's how the window varies by occasion:

Two of those rows surprise people. First, the wedding window: contrary to the popular myth, couples do not get a year — Emily Post's rule is three months, and the sane way to hit it is writing three or four notes a day as gifts arrive rather than facing a hundred the month after the honeymoon. (Guests have their own set of rules; we cover those in our wedding gift etiquette guide for guests.)

Second, showers: even though shower gifts are opened in front of everyone, Emily Post's FAQ is explicit that they still warrant a handwritten note afterward. The in-person squeal is the acknowledgment; the note is the gratitude.

Handwritten or Digital?

The etiquette hierarchy is simple: handwritten is always correct, and for an actual gift it's the standard. Emily Post reserves email for casual things — a coffee, a small favor, an invitation that arrived by email in the first place.

In practice, the best system is both. The day a shipped gift arrives, send a quick text so the giver knows it didn't vanish in transit; then follow with the handwritten note inside the window above. The text says "it arrived" — the card says "it mattered."

And for grandparents and older relatives, the handwritten card isn't a formality; it's often displayed on a shelf for months. That's the highest return a postage stamp will ever earn you.

Copy-Ready Notes for the Hard Cases

The standard note is easy. These are the five situations people actually get stuck on — with wording you can lift directly.

The cash gift

Never mention the amount. Refer to it as a "generous gift," then name exactly what it's going toward — that one detail converts an impersonal transfer into a story the giver is part of.

Dear Uncle Rob,

Thank you for your incredibly generous gift. We've put it straight toward the espresso machine we've been eyeing for the new kitchen — every morning latte will come with a toast to you. We're so glad you could celebrate with us, and we can't wait to have you over once we're settled.

With love, Priya and Dan

The gift you don't love

You can be warm without lying. Name the gift, find one true thing to say about it (the color, the effort, the occasion it marks), and shift the gratitude to the giver. Never mention returning, exchanging, or regifting in the note — what you do later is your business (our guide to handling duplicate gifts gracefully covers that side, and if you need to head off a recurring mismatch, see declining gifts with grace).

Dear Carol,

Thank you for the hand-knit holiday sweater — the deep green is gorgeous, and I can't believe the hours that must have gone into it. It means so much that you made something just for me. Wishing you a cozy new year, and I hope we see each other soon.

Warmly, Jess

The group gift

For a gift from a small group — say, four friends who chipped in — write each person a short individual note. For a big group (the whole office, the extended team), one note addressed to the group is fine: send it to the organizer and ask them to share it, or post it where everyone will see it. The reverse case has its own rule, too: when one person gives a gift to your whole household, Emily Post says one note signed by everyone is perfectly acceptable.

Dear Marketing Team,

Thank you all for the unbelievably generous send-off gift — the luggage set is already packed for the trip, which tells you everything. I'm so grateful to have worked with people this thoughtful. First postcard goes to the break room.

Gratefully, Omar

The very late note

One sentence owns the delay; the rest is a normal note. Resist the urge to spend the whole card apologizing — the giver wants your gratitude, not your guilt.

Dear Nana,

This note is long overdue, and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to send it. Thank you for the quilt — it's been on my bed since the week it arrived, and I think of you every time I see it. I'd love to call this weekend and catch up properly.

All my love, Theo

The gift from someone who couldn't be there

When someone sends a gift for a wedding, shower, or party they couldn't attend, acknowledge both the gift and the missing-them part. They gave twice — the present and the thought from afar.

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Alvarez,

Thank you so much for the beautiful serving bowl from our registry — it was the centerpiece of our first dinner party as a married couple. We were so sorry you couldn't be there in October, and we hope to raise a glass with you in person soon.

With warm regards, Sam and Jordan

Thank-You Note Do's and Don'ts

Let Your Gift List Do the Bookkeeping

The hardest part of thank-you notes at wedding or baby-shower scale isn't the writing — it's remembering who gave what after three weeks and forty packages.

That's one of the quiet advantages of running your registry or wishlist on GiftList: the Gift Tracker keeps a record as friends and family reserve and buy from your list, and when you're ready, you can reveal exactly who gave what — so note-writing starts from a complete checklist instead of a memory test. The My Gifts hub collects every gift you've received across all your lists in one place, and couples can set this up from day one with a free universal wedding registry that accepts gifts from any store.

However you track it, the play is the same: log the gift and giver the day it arrives, write four honest sentences, and send it while the gratitude is still warm. That's the entire skill.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do I need a thank-you note if I already thanked the person face to face?

Usually not — Emily Post says gifts opened in front of the giver don't require a written note. The exceptions are shower gifts, which still call for a handwritten note even after an in-person thank-you, and older relatives who treasure mail. And it's never wrong to send one anyway.

How long do I have to send wedding thank-you notes?

Three months from receiving each gift, per Emily Post — the idea that couples get a full year is a myth. The easiest approach is writing notes as gifts arrive, a few per day, instead of facing a hundred at once. If you've blown past three months, still send the note with a brief apology.

Is it okay to send a thank-you text instead of a written note?

A text is a great instant acknowledgment — send one the day the gift arrives so the giver knows it landed. But for an actual gift, Emily Post's guidance is that handwritten notes are the standard; email and texts only fully cover casual favors, like a coffee someone grabbed you.

How do I say thank you for money without being awkward?

Never mention the amount. Call it a "generous gift" and name the specific thing it's going toward — a honeymoon dinner, a stroller, new tools for the apartment. Telling the giver where their money landed turns an impersonal transfer into a story they got to be part of.

What should I write for a gift I don't actually like?

Thank the effort honestly without faking love for the item. Name the gift, find one true thing to say — the color, the thought behind it, the occasion — and emphasize the giver: "It means a lot that you thought of me." Never mention returning or exchanging it in the note.

Is a late thank-you note better than none at all?

Always. Emily Post is explicit that a late note beats no note, no matter how much time has passed. Open with one brief line owning the delay — not a paragraph of groveling — then write a normal, warm thank-you. The gratitude is the point; the apology is just the doorway.