Gift Registry vs. Wish List: Which One Should You Share?

Key Takeaway: Share a gift registry when there's a formal, invitation-driven event — a wedding, baby shower, or housewarming — because guests expect one and will look for it. Share a wish list for recurring, casual occasions like birthdays and holidays, and only when someone asks. Three questions decide it: Is there an invitation? How many people are shopping? Did they ask?

This guide is about the decision: which one to share for your specific situation, and how to share it without breaking any etiquette rules. If you're still fuzzy on what separates the two formats, start with our explainer on the difference between a gift registry and a wish list; if you've already decided on a registry and want the full setup playbook, the ultimate guide to gift registries covers it end to end.

Here, we're answering one question: you have gift preferences, people who want to know them — so which format do you put in front of them?

Which Should You Share? The 30-Second Answer by Occasion

If your situation isn't in the table — or it's in two rows at once — the three questions below will settle it.

The Three Questions That Decide It

Question 1: Is there a formal event with invitations?

An invitation creates a shopping moment. The instant a wedding, baby shower, or housewarming invite lands, every guest has the same thought: "What do I bring?" — and they'll actively hunt for the answer. That's what a registry is for: a canonical, expected place to look. Skipping one doesn't spare your guests; it just sends them guessing, which is how the estimated $10.1 billion in unwanted gifts that Finder forecast for 2024 happens.

No invitation, no shopping moment. For everything else — birthdays, holidays, "what does your daughter want these days?" — the polite format is a wish list that surfaces when asked.

Question 2: How many people will be shopping at once?

A wedding can put 50+ buyers on the same list inside three weeks; a birthday usually involves a handful of family spread across a month. High, concentrated volume favors registry conventions: one canonical link on the event website, items chosen to cover a range of budgets, and a clear way for guests to coordinate.

One honest caveat: on GiftList, duplicate prevention isn't actually the deciding factor anymore, because every list — registry or wish list — lets gift-givers reserve and purchase items without an account while purchases stay hidden from you. The mechanics are identical. What Question 2 really decides is presentation: a big synchronized audience expects the formality of a registry; a trickle of askers doesn't.

Question 3: Did they ask — or are you offering?

This is the etiquette question, and it has a clean rule: pull, not push. Gift guidance should be available to people who want it, not broadcast to people who didn't ask. Registries get a pass because the event itself is the ask — guests want to find one, which is why Emily Post's registry guidance is about where to put the information (your wedding website, word of mouth — never the invitation itself), not whether to share it.

Wish lists don't get that pass. Texting your birthday list to the group chat unprompted reads as an invoice. Keeping a current list and saying "I have a GiftList — want the link?" when someone asks reads as considerate. Same list, opposite reception. Our guide to sharing a wish list without being awkward has word-for-word scripts for every relationship.

Putting it together: invitation + many simultaneous shoppers → registry. No invitation + people asking → wish list. Mixed signals → read on.

When a Registry Is the Right Call

Registries fit occasions that are formal, single-event, and equipment-heavy — where guests expect to give and genuinely want direction:

• Weddings. Near-universal registry territory. Guests plan real money around it — Zola puts the 2026 average at $130 per gift, with $100–$150 typical — so give them a range of price points, plus a cash fund if a honeymoon matters more than housewares. Start with a universal wedding registry so you're not locked to one store's catalog.
• Baby showers. The clearest case of all: the event's stated purpose is equipping you, the host coordinates the guest list, and (per Emily Post) shower invitations are the one place registry enclosures are perfectly fine. A baby registry that pulls from any store covers the boutique carrier and the big-box diapers in one link.
• Housewarmings. A newer norm, so keep it light — a short, clearly optional housewarming registry of practical items reads as helpful; a 60-item list for a casual open house does not.

One thing a registry is not: a gift requirement. Emily Post is explicit that the choice of gift always belongs to the giver — "great-aunt Edna might still buy you a blender." A registry is a courtesy you extend to guests, and that framing should show in how you share it.

When a Wish List Is the Right Call

Wish lists fit occasions that are recurring, casual, and asker-driven:

• Adult birthdays. No invitations, no synchronized shopping window — just two or three people who'd rather not guess. A standing list you update all year answers them in one tap.
• Kids' birthdays and Christmas. The highest-traffic use case. Grandparents, aunts, and uncles ask repeatedly, in different months, at different budgets. One running list per kid — with sizes current and outgrown interests pruned — beats re-answering the same text eleven times. Come November, the same list doubles as the Christmas list for everyone who celebrates with you.
• Holidays generally, and no occasion at all. A wish list waits quietly until someone wants it. That's its superpower: it can exist without implying anyone owes you anything.

And the research says maintaining one is a kindness, not a presumption. Stanford's Francis Flynn and Gabrielle Adams found that people actually prefer receiving the gifts they asked for — givers overrate the charm of the surprise, recipients don't. A current wish list is how you make "get them what they asked for" possible.

The Gray Zones: When It Could Go Either Way

• Graduations. A hosted party with invitations behaves like an event — a registry-style graduation wishlist shared on the invitation's website link is fine. No party? It's a wish list you hand to family who ask.
• Milestone birthdays and anniversaries. A catered 50th with forty guests has a shopping moment; share a short list the way you'd share a registry (event page, word of mouth) — just keep it modest. A family dinner doesn't need more than a list-on-request.
• Second weddings and vow renewals. Couples often feel awkward registering again. A small registry or a cash fund is acceptable; so is skipping it and letting close family quietly share a wish list with anyone who insists.
• Group gifts. If one big item is the real want — a stroller, a stand mixer, plane tickets — the format matters less than the mechanism: enable group gifting on the item so several people can chip in toward it, whichever kind of list it lives on.

When in doubt, default to the wish list. It's the lower-pressure format, and you can always graduate it to a registry if an event materializes.

Whichever You Share, Share Something

The worst option is the one most people pick: sharing nothing and making everyone guess. Finder forecast that 53% of American adults — roughly 140 million people — would receive at least one unwanted gift in the 2024 holiday season alone. Every one of those gifts cost someone real money and earned a polite, hollow thank-you.

On GiftList, you don't actually have to choose a format up front. Create one free list, add items from any store by pasting a link, and the registry-grade mechanics — reservation tracking, hidden purchases, no account needed for gift-givers — are already there. Call it a registry when there's an event and put it on the event website; call it a wish list the rest of the year and share it when someone asks. The list doesn't change. Only the etiquette around it does — and now you know the rules.

Frequently Asked Questions

Should I share a registry or a wish list for a birthday?

A wish list. Birthdays are recurring and casual — there's no invitation-driven shopping moment, so a registry reads as overly formal. Keep one running birthday wish list, update it year-round, and share the link when someone asks what you want. One exception: a milestone party with formal invitations can support a registry-style share.

Is it rude to share a wish list when nobody asked?

Usually, yes — an unsolicited link reads as a gift request. The etiquette rule is pull, not push: keep your list current, mention that it exists, and let people ask for it. Registries are the exception, because guests at weddings and showers expect one and will actively go looking for it.

Do I need a registry for a small or informal wedding?

No. Etiquette experts treat a registry as a convenience for guests, not an obligation for the couple. For a small or informal wedding, a short universal list or a cash fund shared on your wedding website does the same job — and even tiny guest lists usually appreciate some direction.

Can the same list work as both a registry and a wish list?

Yes. On a universal platform like GiftList the mechanics are identical — add items from any store, and gift-givers reserve or buy without an account while purchases stay hidden from you. What changes is the framing: a registry is tied to one event and shared proactively, while a wish list is shared on request.

Where do I put registry information if not on the invitation?

Emily Post's guidance is to keep registry and gift information off the wedding invitation entirely. Spread the word through your wedding website and by telling close family and the wedding party, who pass it along when guests ask. Shower invitations are the exception — because a shower's purpose is gift-giving, registry details are fine there.